CHRONICLES

Tuesday 2 December 2014

CHRONICLES OF A POST GRAD

The one thing no one ever tells you after completing 5 grueling years of university, is the amount of free time that you have, finally coming to terms with the realization that you are all on your own. If anyone was to ask me what I was up to a few years prior, I could confidently respond with, "Well, I'm in university studying to be a teacher. I'm also working part-time as a sales associate, volunteering my time to helping children write books, and going to start practicum teaching in the next few months...golly gee!" During this period in my life, my time seemed to be so preoccupied and frankly, I loved it. It was as if the less time I had for idle things and taking care of myself, the more productive I was, the greater identity I had. However, fast forward to the present moment and I usually fumble with an answer that sounds a little something like, "Well, uhm..I'm working as an English teacher at a learning center." While at the same time thinking, "I'm still trying to find a full-time job and figure out what to do with my spare time."

You see the thing with time, is that once you have so much of it, you begin to wonder who you are. Student, work, volunteer- these are all things that we identify with. These are labels that tells the world I AM SOMEONE. But minus that from the equation, and strip us down to our basic humanity, and who are we exactly? Over the last 3 months of time away from an institution that once served to be my crutch whenever someone asked me what I was doing with life, I am now realizing a little bit more of who I am as a person. The following includes:

  • I love sleeping in, although I always feel a twinge of guilt. The perks of being a part-time teacher is starting work at 4. This means I can stay up binge watching Netflix, and not feel the movie hangover in the morning. My friends always use to see me as an early bird, but I've come to realize I love being able to get 8-10 hours of sleep. Call it selfish, but after waking up early for so long to get to school, I enjoy getting up once the sun is already in the sky to watch morning talk shows and eat my adult breakfast of peanut butter and jelly.
  • I am a scheduler. I am constantly in the habit of having to be busy. I even schedule my Duolingo lessons in the morning, right after reading books about teaching, and a guide to ESL I never got around to look at in my last year of university. And while it is a good thing to be organized, I would love to master the art of doing nothing. However, knowing me, I will most likely have to schedule in that too. 
  • I enjoy working out. I may not be your next gym buddy, but I actually crave my 30 minute Fitness Blender or XHIT Daily exercise routines. I've also realized that 30-40 minutes is my limit. Anything past that seems like a nuisance and sucks away my happiness.
  • If I had to live by myself, I would probably not starve. The kids on Master Chef may put my cooking skills to shame, but I can survive on my cooking alone. #adultwin
  • I am very sensitive. I put a lot of value in my friends, family, work and religion and when one of those things do not live up to my expectations, I tend to get quite hurt. I realize that when things do not go my way, I am more likely to cry then to buck up and face it. Regardless, to me, being sensitive shows that I care, that I am able to feel. And that is very important to who I am as a person.
In conclusion, time is a wonderful resource for a post graduate but it can also make you question things that you never once thought about before. I like who I am now, and I am sure I will like who I will continue to be in my post graduate life, xo

Tuesday 4 November 2014

THE PROBLEM WITH

Rejection.

The word itself is difficult to follow with a proper definition but to sum it up personally, it is my one greatest fear.

Yesterday, as I heard the priest repeat the words of "you do not belong to this parish" I contemplated the irony of crying in front of  a priest. I mean c'mon now, if you were to cry in front of anyone you would want it to be in front of someone who would hold no judgment towards you or condemn you into further agony right? Nevertheless I managed to keep my cool and my tears intact as I tried to politely explain that just because I did not attend church, did not make me any less Catholic than my peers. It is true, however. I didn't belong to this particular parish and the only reason why I sought comfort in this priest was because my old parish had no records of me attending church. At last, rejection upon rejection, I fear that I will never be memorable enough. And for now, I am giving this whole teaching in the Catholic board a little bit of a break.

See the problem with being so positive all the time is it is exhausting. It is mentally, physically and now spiritually draining. If being happy demands to be felt, it surely does take effort. The frustration in it all, however, is when things do not go your way. And yes, c'est la vie. But it would be sure nice to catch a break for once. For doors to open up for me, like they do for everyone else.

I am allowing myself to be sad, mainly because I am discouraged and because happiness is a constant habit I feel like I always need to keep up with. I've had two experiences with how happiness affects others: one in which one of my fellow teachers remarked "I have never met anyone as happy as you! It's wonderful!" and the other "How are you always happy? Meds (haha?)" You can obviously tell which teacher was more pessimistic. Happiness can be taxing to others, and even especially to the person, so why bother?

The problem with happiness is for me, it is still a struggle. It is easier to get up out of bed and hate going to work. It is easier to be angry with my church, than it is to forgive it. But I know that the roads less taken, are often the greatest journeys.

I'll come back fighting, I'll come back more determined than ever.

The problem with happiness is...

nothing.

Wednesday 22 October 2014

A MASTER IN ANYTHING, WAS ONCE A BEGINNER IN SOMETHING

"A master in anything, was once a beginner in something" has always been one of my favourite quotes as a teacher. Flashback to my grade 6/7 practicum, I wrote this quote on the board when my associate teacher asked me to find a saying that resonated with me for the "quote of the day." And while most of my students failed to comprehend or rather, care for this simple saying, I found that the quote was in fact more of a reminder for me to face each day ready to learn and make new mistakes.

This quote is a constant daily reminder to me, that at 23 I am most likely not going to be a master in...well, anything for that matter. And while there may be this fabricated illusion that things come "naturally" for others, born talent and inherent abilities are not enough to make you great at something. Being a master in anything requires dedication, practice and hard work. It takes patience and an ability to accept that mistakes are inevitable. It takes time.

So even though I still feel as I may not be a great teacher just as of right now, I know someday I will be. And the first step to achieving this, is to forgive myself for making mistakes. Simply put, sometimes you have to taste defeat in order to appreciate success. Or as Drake puts it, you gotta start from the bottom to get "here." Whenever "here" is for you.

In conclusion, be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that you are doing your best at your own pace and one day you will succeed. And one day you will look back at your mistakes and see them as little brightsides xo,

Friday 3 October 2014

IF YOU AREN'T FAILING, YOU AREN'T TRYING HARD ENOUGH

I snapped yesterday, like snapped, snapped. Like a flimsy branch being flung into a tornado kind of snapped. I was off to a really good start, I can assure you. I told myself I was energized, I got my morning workout routine in and I was on my way to prepare for a healthy lunch. And then a comment I have too often heard, snapped the last straw in me.

I can't say that I reacted with dignity and grace. I'll pretend that I didn't scream and cry (when in fact I did). But what I can admit to is that sobbing and sulking for 15 minutes gave me that final release I needed in order to get back to my goals and feel happy. It was if those tears had been flooding up inside me, screaming to overflow out of my dry eyelids. "FREEEDOMM!" is what they would probably yell (if tears could talk).

So instead of staying under my comfy bed sheets and sleeping until I had to leave for work (my regular go-to coping method), I got up and took a shower. A wonderful shower, I may add. I sang, possible danced a little and belted out some really good hits. I felt much better. I even decided to take a short walk before work which is supposedly useful to get you out of a slump. And then I worked. Simple as that.

I realized here that I didn't necessarily fail at my happiness project because I lashed out and got upset. In fact, I think I needed that final form of release. Failure, instead, would have been me curling up into a ball until the world came knocking on my door. It would have been me taking my frustrations out at work. But I CHOSE to be happy. Like physically and mentally chose to get my butt off of the bed and do something to alter my mood. This is what I like to call "Operation: Get Your Ass Up And Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself." And guess what? It worked.

I may not always be able to control or contain my frequent mood swings but I do have the power to choose how long I stay in these experiences. A feeling is a feeling, until it becomes a mood. And I would much rather having feelings of anger or sadness at times but then be in a happier mood for the rest of my day. I assure you that I will fail, but failure is always needed to improve oneself. Failure tells the world, "I am challenging myself to be better, to be happier."

Thursday 2 October 2014

ENERGY


For the past few days, I feel like I've been in a slump and when I mean slump I mean the "don't bother me as I binge watch Netflix and contemplate the meaning of life as I watch Channing Tatum strip down to his skivvies" kind of slump. I had tried my luck applying for some jobs over the weekend, despite the fact that most of the postings required some sort of ECE degree. "Great," I thought, "At least my boyfriend will have a job when he's done school!" And then, with even more determination, I sent my application for teaching in Catholic schools over to my church in hopes for a priest to sign it and return it back to me in time for my interview with the board. Well, no such luck. "Wonderful," I complained, "Just wonderful."

Not only had I felt rejected by countless job recruiters, but at the same time I also felt rejected by my choice in career. Really? No one wants a teacher graduate, with an undergrad in English and Sociology? And to make matters even more alarming, I hadn't even seen a job post that desired these requirements! The final kick in the can came when the priest of my church couldn't even sign my application form because he could not "accurately describe how long my family had been affiliated with the church." Completely understandable, despite the fact that I was baptized at this parish, my parents got married there, my brother and I were altar servers, I won a scholarship for university from them and we went to church every Sunday until both my brother and I landed jobs about 5 years back. The one place where I felt that I could not be turned away, is the one place I felt had most failed me. I may not have been attending church regularly, but I did practice Catholic values outside the community and in more ways than one, taking a break from church made me appreciate my relationship with God so much more when I came back. "And we welcome you, with open arms."

I never intended to start this blog post being so negative, but I guess that tells more about what kind of slump I am in. But I want to change that. There's a great commandment in Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project that says "act the way I want to feel" or essentially, "fake it till you make it." Just because you aren't happy now, doesn't mean that you can't be happy later. Just because you don't have energy now, doesn't mean you can't force yourself to act more energetic. And in due time, your feelings will follow your actions.

So that's what I did. I woke up early today with the thought of I FEEL ENERGIZED although I really hadn't and I've taken the time to map out what I want to get done this morning before work. My list includes:
  1. Eat a gnarly breakfast (I had to check how to spell that word)
  2. Write a blog post (check mark!)
  3. Get my glutes workout in
  4. Read 2 chapter books and make notes for work
  5. Don't complain about work
  6. Be happy that I have a job
The last 2 may require some restraint and tongue biting, but I should be grateful for what I do have in life, rather than what life isn't giving me at the moment. Having energy, allows me to face rejection and focus on what makes life beautiful, instead about what makes it hard. I encourage you today you try and "fake it until you make it" or really, be the change you want to see in the world yourself. In order to change the body, we must learn to change the mind. "The flesh is weak, but my mind is strong." I am still Catholic. 

Wednesday 3 September 2014

FRESH FACE

What female (or male for the matter- no gender discrimination here) hasn't had to battle with the breakouts on their face at least once in their life? From weather change, to hormones to using the wrong products, there are many reasons as to why skin can become irritated and over time, can begin to lose its brightness and texture. Over the course of my life, I have always struggled with acne prone/oily skin and it was only recently did I discover that my skin was also dehydrated. So what does that mean? Well not only was my skin oily on the dreaded T-zone but it also meant that my skin was also very flakey and appeared dry when I woke up. In order to combat this, I decided that instead of covering myself up with more make up (which let's be honest, would only make matters worst) I would address the issue of my skin first and therefore, work from the outside in (or from the under on). And with that in mind, I headed to my local Sephora to scope out a few new products.


The one thing I always appreciate and genuinely admire in a sales associate is honesty. I'm sure we would all much rather have someone tell us the truth about the way we look, then being suckered into buying something that would never work for us in the present or near future (I'm talking about you Aritzia). Luckily, honesty is exactly what I got from the sales associate at Sephora at Fairview Mall. Not only was she informative, but unlike other workers, she didn't try to sugarcoat the truth behind some of Sephora's beauty products. She not only told me which products would probably break me out due to high return rates from customers but she always went on to talk about her job and what she really wanted to do with her life. Building trust with clientele is extremely important in the customer service industry, and because of this, I trusted her to find me the best products for my face. And here is what they are:

Make Up Forever HD Foundation: This product is an absolute joy to have on my face now that the weather is cooling down and there are little signs of humidity lingering around Toronto. I don't think I could use this makeup too much in the summer, as it is a liquid foundation and will most likely to cause my skin to become more oily. However, this foundation is wonderful as it blends easily and covers up a lot of redness on my cheeks. I like applying this product on with a sponge as it gives me the most coverage and then finishing it off with a light dusting from my MAC powder. I have to say however, I am not use to wearing liquid foundation and have soon found white clothing to be my ultimate kryptonite...but all beauty comes with a price right? Regardless, I am happy that in no way shape or form does this look too cakey or overdone and it is a great substitute for my MAC concealer that was just way too runny and looking! Overall rating: 8/10

Fresh Soy Face Cleanser: I have always enjoyed Fresh products due to their natural ingredients and minimalist packaging and this item is no exception! It does a pretty good job of taking off my makeup but works AMAZINGLY with my Clarisonic. Not only does it help to make my skin feel soft in the morning, but the product really stands up to its name by leaving it looking fresh and hydrated as well! Upon initial application, it doesn't feel to strip away the dirt but in the morning, it is evident that the formula really gets underneath your skin and cleans away all impurities. Definitely worth a repurchase! Overall rating: 9/10 (I took away points because the bottle goes by quickly and it is costly at $18.50 for some a small bottle)

Sephora 8 Hour Mattifying Moisturizer: I first discovered this product on my trip to Orlando, Florida. I had been previously using Fresh's Umbria Clay Lotion but due to its high price, a sales associate from Sephora allowed me to sample this. I love the consistency of the product and it does really help my skin become more matte and stay oil free for most of the day. It isn't too hydrating, obviously, which is fine since I apply an oil on for moisture at night (more on that in my next post). Overall, decent product for a decent price! Can't go wrong with that! Overall rating: 7.5/10

I hope you all learned something new about these products! Having used all 3 products for about 2-3 weeks now, I can definitely say I can see an improvement in my face. If you have any other products you can think of that would work well for my skin or are great alternatives, let me know! Till then, love yourself, xo

Thursday 21 August 2014

MIND AND BODY KICK START

With time slowly winding down before my one month vacation has finally ended, I have decided to take it upon myself to a 30 day challenge in order to improve not only my overall body and fitness but also other aspects of my life as well.

As I wandered around Indigo, meticulously looking between pre-teen covers of vampires and science-fiction heartthrobs and trying not to be obvious as I drifted back and forth to the romance section, I finally came across the peaceful self-help area of the store. Being quietly tucked away behind the crowded Starbucks cafĂ©, this lovely little place distracted me for most of my time waiting for a call from a friend. Truthfully, I didn't know what to expect (maybe people in pretzel yoga stances or prayer beads?) but I found it comforting finding both men, women and people of every age surveying the shelves.
                       
                                   Great, maybe I wasn't the only one needing a little self-help!

With that little enlightenment, I came across the book "The Happiness Project" and after reading a few pages, I contemplated what really did make me happy in life- good friends, a loving relationship, financial stability, a happy household, successful at my job- well the list goes on. But how do we get there and more importantly, how do we sustain it?

I think it is rather difficult and in fact, misleading to think of happiness as an end goal and I think this is what the author was getting at in her book. In order to be happy, we need to set small, attainable goals that will contribute to our happiness rather than get us to the imaginary promise land of "happiness."

And as a result of this, I have decided to take a 30 day challenge not as a way to always assess what makes me happy, but to document what does and then go from there. In all honestly, a large part of this will be related to beauty, mind and fitness as this is where a large part of my time and energy goes into. However with my looming job hunting over the horizon, I know it will expand into much more important parts of my life.

The point of this is to kick start my mind and body into a happier and healthier life. So have fun and enjoy the ride with my as I share with you my journey to find my little brightsides! xo

Thursday 7 August 2014

THINKING OUT LOUD

Writing can be a difficult task for anyone, but with university life only a couple months behind me, I am currently stuck in that "academic, must find reliable sources" phase. I am currently tackling a new project for a non-profit organization I work for and with this new task, I have the amazing opportunity to write a children's book that will be sold at the store front. But how can I possibly move from being chastised for using "I" to now writing solely from a child's point of view? With time and practice I tell you. With this new experience, I finally took the time yesterday to head out to my neighbourhood's Starbucks to sit down and write out my thoughts. Here's what I decided to wear on the lovely sunny Toronto day!

 
I haven't had the chance to wear shorts this season and it was great busting out an old pair from Urban Outfitters. I paired them with a silk top and bandeau from Aritzia, a camo jacket also from Urban Outfitters and my new Zara flats. My flats are actually proving to be very comfortable but my heels do tend to stick out a lot. Oh well, c'est la vie!
 
 
I absolutely love pairing edgy, street clothes with more dainty, feminine pieces. I chose to pair my camo jacket with a soft silk tank from Aritzia to add some contrast and texture. To make the outfit even more interesting, I added a pink lace bralette underneath to peek out from my silk top. Paired with my Casio watch, it was a perfect blend of my favourite styles.



My mind was exploding with new ideas for the book but nothing sounded quite right when it appeared on my laptop screen. I tend to have this habit to over doubt myself and this time wasn't any different. But I guess this is how all writers feel sometimes. After submitting the "roughest of rough drafts" I proceeded to second guess why I even sent it in the first place. But I believe now that half the battle of writing, is having the guts to press "send" and wait for feedback. So that is what I am doing. Do you have any tips for first time writers? Let me know, xo

Tuesday 5 August 2014

X DETAILS

With summer slipping away in this poor Toronto weather, I am slowing trying to transition my closet from shorts and tanks to basic fall pieces. I love this time of the year, not only because the weather is slightly cooler and more comfortable than earlier before, but also because it is finally SALE SEASON! With stores making room for their new fall stock, old summer and even spring items are left to be manhandled by us bargain shoppers. With that being said, I went into Zara yesterday hoping to find some great work pants only to pick up these lovely pair of leather flats.
 
 
The tag on them states "authentic leather" which makes me wonder how I got them on such a good deal. I picked up a size 6 in this footwear after trying on the 6 1/2 and finding my feet slip out at the ends. I have to admit however, the size 6 is a bit snug but based on past experience, I am anticipating these shoes to stretch a little. And if not, well at least I look cute in them. My favourite part about these shoes are the skin texture detail at the top. It's s a great little twist on a such a basic wardrobe staple.
 

With an original price of $69.90 and being discounted to a whopping $25.99 I can definitely say I made a wonderful purchase! I can't wait to start wearing them and working them into this cooler weather. Until then, happy shopping xo,


Thursday 5 June 2014

Vegetarian Stuffed Tomatoes

Happy Thursday everyone! It's been a while since I've logged on to my laptop, but I can definitely say that I am back and ready to do some much needed writing therapy. Furthermore, I am happy to announce that I am finally finished university as well as my student teaching for a lovely grade 6/7 classroom and cannot wait to see what the future has in store for me.

With that in mind, here's a super easy and healthy recipe to add some flavor in your life (especially if you are in that post-grad couch potato phase like me). And of course, with 3 weeks left for my much anticipated vacation, I am doing my best to limit the amount of process or fried food into my diet. I am so happy I now have the time to cook, workout and enjoy a little vitamin C!



What you will need:

1. 1-2 large tomatoes (I made 2 but I couldn't finish both of them)
2. Croutons or day old bread
3. Basil
4. Dried Oregano
5. Parmesan cheese
6. Olive oil
7. Salt and pepper
8. 1 egg

Instructions:

1. Cut an opening at the top of the tomato. Using an ice cream scooper or small spoon, scoop out the inside of the tomato leaving 1/2 inch at the bottom and the sides.
2. Mix together the croutons/bread, dried oregano, parmesan cheese, olive oil and salt and pepper together in a separate bowl.
3. Place stuffing inside tomato being careful not to overstuff it.
4. Put in a 400 degree oven for 15 minutes.
5. Take stuffed tomatoes out of oven and break an egg directly over the opening of the tomato. To ensure the egg does not leak over the side, make a small ditch in the stuffing to hold the egg in place.
6. Put back in oven for 18-20 minutes.
7. Serve over arugula or other mixed greens you have in your fridge.

That's my little brightside, what's yours? xo,

Tuesday 25 February 2014

Small Steps, Big Successes

Happy start to the week everyone! With reading week finally at a close, I can honestly say it's sort of refreshing to finally be back in the cramped classrooms of university life. Mind you, I know March will be full of study sessions and long nights, but we'll cross that bridge once we get there.

All in all, this week has been very productive for me. I'm finally back teaching at Story Planet and on top of that,  I plan to get started on my 2 essays due in the next couple weeks. With that in mind, I'm happy to say that I a managed to fit in 4 days of fitness last week and plan to do this same for this time slot. I've been working out since January but for the most part, my workouts have been focused around cardio-the bike, the row machine, the elliptical, you name it. But as I have indicated in my last posts, I have finally decided to incorporate weight training into my routine! Exciting!

So, who knew that the weight machines actually weren't so scary? In all honesty, I had to go to the YMCA gym with my boyfriend to muster up the confidence to first start on the machines but hey, we all need to begin somewhere! I am really not the type to try and depend on a man to feel strong, but my boyfriend is a great source of emotional support, and it felt great to work out with him (something we haven't done since the beginning of my university days). Currently, I can't really lift more than 35 pounds in ANYTHING, but I am happy to be taking the initiative to feel fit.

Anyways on top of all this, my biggest success came today when I finally used the weight machines at my university's gym! I guess it's really all about finding the right time when the gym isn't too hectically busy and overcrowded and I can take the time to read the machine's instructions. I'm assuming most people don't work out at 12:30 because it's lunch time, but seeing as I head there right after my 12 o'clock class, you can't blame me for my good timing. As of today, I realized my legs definitely need some work, seeing as the senior lady beside me could do more leg weights than me *cry* but I can undoubtedly say that I feel that my upper body is getting much stronger and leaner! So far I can really only do 3 sets of 12 reps (and less with my legs) but I am happy at my slow progress. I really do need to do more research about when to do certain weights and for different parts of my body, when to do cardio and eat my protein. I still have a long way to go, but I hope to gain at least 3-4 pounds by the end of March. With that in mind, I feel so proud of myself...but that also might be the soreness in my body. Happy Tuesday, xo

Friday 21 February 2014

The Start of Something Great

Ever since the entering of high school, I have always seemed to struggle with my weight. In no way, shape or form have I ever been referred to as "big" but perceptions in the mirror use to make me feel otherwise. Pair that with cattie girls and the social pressures cultivated by my peers and the media, and what you were left with was probably a girl with nothing but an apple for lunch. But hey, I dropped 10 pounds and decided instead to substitute low self-confidence and insecurity with the numbers found on my bathroom scale.

Buuuuuuuttttt, despite that melancholic entry, I can definitely say that over the past few years I have learned to appreciate myself as a strong, independent and healthy woman. And, as cliche as it sounds, success is not weighed by the numbers on a scale, but rather on the health and happiness of your mind and soul. With that being said, 2014 has definitely been a year in which I have pushed myself to strive and meet new challenges with the utmost positive attitude. 

January began with my reemergence into the gym, a place that only increased my self-consciousness. I began slow and steady, and soon found myself enjoying my time on the elliptical and row machines. And despite my heavy schedule, I ensured to visit the gym at least once a week in combination with doing cardio exercises in the comforts of my own home. I soon began to silently applaud (in my my mind of course) the seniors at the gym thrusting their arms in the air and doing their morning tai chi. And I even found inspiration from girls half my weight doing crunches and leg raises without even a flinch of insecurity. Even the guy who ran around the track clutching an iPad in his hand seemed to say to me and everyone else, "Yes I work out at the gym, and no I do not give a fuck who is watching." 

When February finally arrived, I weighed myself, and although I felt so much more happier, energetic and lively, I also lost a few pounds (something I was not entirely hoping to do). In fact, I am pretty small for my age and height, and while this may seem like something I should not be complaining about, I do not want to waste away into nothing (exaggeration here). Currently I am sitting at 5'3 and 105 pounds. I'd like to point out that in no way am I saying that being skinny is "ugly" (I say this using quotations because these types of terms are all socially constructed, and really beauty is what makes you feel good on the inside) but I know that for me personally, my weight feels unhealthy to me. And with that being said I have learned to listen to my body.

To conclude this post, I think I will start focusing some of my posts concerning my fitness and lifestyle as a way to track my progress and challenge myself to do more weight training. For me, this has always been something I was afraid to do, not only because the machines at the gym intimidated me, but also because I did not want to become too "muscular." However, as I have discovered, muscle building is exactly what I need in order gain weight and feel stronger. So please, bare with my daily blog posts about what I am eating and doing at the gym. Or please, by all means, unfollow.

Despite all this, I am genuinely happy with who I am because who I am has been built on me doing my best. 

Right now I am the "best of me" and that is beautiful. 

Tuesday 11 February 2014

Why You Are Already the Best You

You are already the best you
                                              And every fiber of your being seeks your success,

You are already the best you
           

                And every inch of your soul yearns for your happiness.

So just be still

Tuesday 4 February 2014

I Want to be Great

Call it "survival of the fittest" but I think there is something inside everyone that makes you strive for more than what you already have. I don't think that I've ever met anybody that didn't want to be successful, that didn't want to be more than happy. But how do we strive? How do we progress? How do we move forward?

Pause,

if you were to ask me 5 years from where I am now, I'd have to say I'd be somewhere surrounded by children, helping them and teaching them somewhere along the line of their academic and social journey. And in many cases that's where I am now. But I do see my life also outside of where I am now; progressed, changed and life-loving. 

And so in the midst of rewriting my resumes for teaching, I cannot help but wished that I took more opportunities to learn and develop. I don't want to be scared of taking chances, because in all honesty, I do not like feeling stuck in something that does benefit my health and happiness. Regardless, there is still so much time for me to grow and develop and I am so completely excited for the things to come...

I want to be great. I will be great. I am great.

Thursday 23 January 2014

Can't Stop, Won't Stop

My last semester at university has finally begun and despite piles of readings, assignments and tests coming my way, I am surprisingly at ease. I mean this may have to do with the fact that "crunch time" has only recently begun and I am currently neglecting that 4 page essay I need to complete by next week...but then again I'd like to think of this sense of tranquility as the result of the growths I've made over the past couple of weeks.I mean, who knew working out could be a mood enhancer? (SARCASM: we all knew this) or that eating healthier has really improved my ability to stay concentrated and positive? (*face palm*)

I can't say that I've necessarily made working out a daily routine, but I can definitely say I've been listening to my body more often and reassessing what actions I should be taking to help improve my health. For anyone who hasn't tried hot yoga, I urge you to get yourself a mat, a water bottle and go out and try it! Sure I'm still the student at the back of the class unable to do 50% of the moves properly (kudos to the girl always at the front of the class who has the power to shape shift into a pretzel...your boyfriend thanks you) but the feeling I get after sweating profusely and arching my back lower than the London Bridge is absolutely wonderful. It's the sense that yes, you did do something lovely for your body and you appreciate yourself enough to put it through a reflective yet intensive workout. And sure, I may be the girl who only does cardio at the gym, half avoiding the scary weight machines with guys keep reminding each other that it's "leg day" but at least I am getting my heart rate up and building my confidence to actually go to the gym. And next week? Yup, I'm doing trampoline classes.

To say that university life has been anything but eventful would be a mistake. It has been filled with long nights, hot lattes and countless times of just wanting to give up. But I have learned a lot from these experiences. If I want something, I have to work at it. If I want to be a teacher, I have to work for it. If I want to be a good person, I need to work on it. Everything requires work...but without it, our life would be pretty dull.

So blame it on my 6:00 p.m. soy green tea latte but I think I'll take the rest of the night to watch a good movie. I deserve it, I've worked for it...in fact for 11 hours today. Time to give my mind a rest, and work on being peaceful xo,


Studying about stress while experiencing it when studying for the upcoming test...that's what I call real life application! Plus I'm pretty sure this type of photo is a rite of passage as a university student.


Sunday 19 January 2014

Life of an Instagramer Part 2

Hello lovelies,

And happy 2014! I haven't blogged in quite a while but I'm hoping to find some time in between school, work and teaching! Hope the year is going exceptionally well and you are bringing in some positive love, light and happiness into your lives. Till next time, xo

If you have an instagram feel free to follow me @_chellebelle