I snapped yesterday, like snapped, snapped. Like a flimsy branch being flung into a tornado kind of snapped. I was off to a really good start, I can assure you. I told myself I was energized, I got my morning workout routine in and I was on my way to prepare for a healthy lunch. And then a comment I have too often heard, snapped the last straw in me.
I can't say that I reacted with dignity and grace. I'll pretend that I didn't scream and cry (when in fact I did). But what I can admit to is that sobbing and sulking for 15 minutes gave me that final release I needed in order to get back to my goals and feel happy. It was if those tears had been flooding up inside me, screaming to overflow out of my dry eyelids. "FREEEDOMM!" is what they would probably yell (if tears could talk).
So instead of staying under my comfy bed sheets and sleeping until I had to leave for work (my regular go-to coping method), I got up and took a shower. A wonderful shower, I may add. I sang, possible danced a little and belted out some really good hits. I felt much better. I even decided to take a short walk before work which is supposedly useful to get you out of a slump. And then I worked. Simple as that.
I realized here that I didn't necessarily fail at my happiness project because I lashed out and got upset. In fact, I think I needed that final form of release. Failure, instead, would have been me curling up into a ball until the world came knocking on my door. It would have been me taking my frustrations out at work. But I CHOSE to be happy. Like physically and mentally chose to get my butt off of the bed and do something to alter my mood. This is what I like to call "Operation: Get Your Ass Up And Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself." And guess what? It worked.
I may not always be able to control or contain my frequent mood swings but I do have the power to choose how long I stay in these experiences. A feeling is a feeling, until it becomes a mood. And I would much rather having feelings of anger or sadness at times but then be in a happier mood for the rest of my day. I assure you that I will fail, but failure is always needed to improve oneself. Failure tells the world, "I am challenging myself to be better, to be happier."