Happy start to the week everyone! With reading week finally at a close, I can honestly say it's sort of refreshing to finally be back in the cramped classrooms of university life. Mind you, I know March will be full of study sessions and long nights, but we'll cross that bridge once we get there.
All in all, this week has been very productive for me. I'm finally back teaching at Story Planet and on top of that, I plan to get started on my 2 essays due in the next couple weeks. With that in mind, I'm happy to say that I a managed to fit in 4 days of fitness last week and plan to do this same for this time slot. I've been working out since January but for the most part, my workouts have been focused around cardio-the bike, the row machine, the elliptical, you name it. But as I have indicated in my last posts, I have finally decided to incorporate weight training into my routine! Exciting!
So, who knew that the weight machines actually weren't so scary? In all honesty, I had to go to the YMCA gym with my boyfriend to muster up the confidence to first start on the machines but hey, we all need to begin somewhere! I am really not the type to try and depend on a man to feel strong, but my boyfriend is a great source of emotional support, and it felt great to work out with him (something we haven't done since the beginning of my university days). Currently, I can't really lift more than 35 pounds in ANYTHING, but I am happy to be taking the initiative to feel fit.
Anyways on top of all this, my biggest success came today when I finally used the weight machines at my university's gym! I guess it's really all about finding the right time when the gym isn't too hectically busy and overcrowded and I can take the time to read the machine's instructions. I'm assuming most people don't work out at 12:30 because it's lunch time, but seeing as I head there right after my 12 o'clock class, you can't blame me for my good timing. As of today, I realized my legs definitely need some work, seeing as the senior lady beside me could do more leg weights than me *cry* but I can undoubtedly say that I feel that my upper body is getting much stronger and leaner! So far I can really only do 3 sets of 12 reps (and less with my legs) but I am happy at my slow progress. I really do need to do more research about when to do certain weights and for different parts of my body, when to do cardio and eat my protein. I still have a long way to go, but I hope to gain at least 3-4 pounds by the end of March. With that in mind, I feel so proud of myself...but that also might be the soreness in my body. Happy Tuesday, xo
Friday, 21 February 2014
Ever since the entering of high school, I have always seemed to struggle with my weight. In no way, shape or form have I ever been referred to as "big" but perceptions in the mirror use to make me feel otherwise. Pair that with cattie girls and the social pressures cultivated by my peers and the media, and what you were left with was probably a girl with nothing but an apple for lunch. But hey, I dropped 10 pounds and decided instead to substitute low self-confidence and insecurity with the numbers found on my bathroom scale.
Buuuuuuuttttt, despite that melancholic entry, I can definitely say that over the past few years I have learned to appreciate myself as a strong, independent and healthy woman. And, as cliche as it sounds, success is not weighed by the numbers on a scale, but rather on the health and happiness of your mind and soul. With that being said, 2014 has definitely been a year in which I have pushed myself to strive and meet new challenges with the utmost positive attitude.
January began with my reemergence into the gym, a place that only increased my self-consciousness. I began slow and steady, and soon found myself enjoying my time on the elliptical and row machines. And despite my heavy schedule, I ensured to visit the gym at least once a week in combination with doing cardio exercises in the comforts of my own home. I soon began to silently applaud (in my my mind of course) the seniors at the gym thrusting their arms in the air and doing their morning tai chi. And I even found inspiration from girls half my weight doing crunches and leg raises without even a flinch of insecurity. Even the guy who ran around the track clutching an iPad in his hand seemed to say to me and everyone else, "Yes I work out at the gym, and no I do not give a fuck who is watching."
When February finally arrived, I weighed myself, and although I felt so much more happier, energetic and lively, I also lost a few pounds (something I was not entirely hoping to do). In fact, I am pretty small for my age and height, and while this may seem like something I should not be complaining about, I do not want to waste away into nothing (exaggeration here). Currently I am sitting at 5'3 and 105 pounds. I'd like to point out that in no way am I saying that being skinny is "ugly" (I say this using quotations because these types of terms are all socially constructed, and really beauty is what makes you feel good on the inside) but I know that for me personally, my weight feels unhealthy to me. And with that being said I have learned to listen to my body.
To conclude this post, I think I will start focusing some of my posts concerning my fitness and lifestyle as a way to track my progress and challenge myself to do more weight training. For me, this has always been something I was afraid to do, not only because the machines at the gym intimidated me, but also because I did not want to become too "muscular." However, as I have discovered, muscle building is exactly what I need in order gain weight and feel stronger. So please, bare with my daily blog posts about what I am eating and doing at the gym. Or please, by all means, unfollow.
Despite all this, I am genuinely happy with who I am because who I am has been built on me doing my best.
Right now I am the "best of me" and that is beautiful.
Tuesday, 11 February 2014
Tuesday, 4 February 2014
Call it "survival of the fittest" but I think there is something inside everyone that makes you strive for more than what you already have. I don't think that I've ever met anybody that didn't want to be successful, that didn't want to be more than happy. But how do we strive? How do we progress? How do we move forward?
if you were to ask me 5 years from where I am now, I'd have to say I'd be somewhere surrounded by children, helping them and teaching them somewhere along the line of their academic and social journey. And in many cases that's where I am now. But I do see my life also outside of where I am now; progressed, changed and life-loving.
And so in the midst of rewriting my resumes for teaching, I cannot help but wished that I took more opportunities to learn and develop. I don't want to be scared of taking chances, because in all honesty, I do not like feeling stuck in something that does benefit my health and happiness. Regardless, there is still so much time for me to grow and develop and I am so completely excited for the things to come...
I want to be great. I will be great. I am great.